On the way from Heathrow to my "flat" I was lucky enough to sit shotgun (on the leftside!!) next to our driver Trevor. Let's just say by the end of the trip we were in love. We bonded over my love for the Whopper and basically fast food in general. He loved that we (me and my roommate Gabby) were cheap dates.
Lesson 2: Phones can get jetlagged
The GoogleMaps application on my phone is taking some time to adjust. For the first 18 hours in London it still thought for some reason that it was in the US. I wasn't able to get directions from my phone until about 5 minutes ago.
Lesson 3: The food may not be that great, but the cheap beer makes up for it
Once all the roommates arrived (Carla from NJ, Alex or "Fabes" from PA, Michelle from TX and Gabby from NY) we went out for our first meal in London. We found this pub down the block from our flat called "Albany" where they had a lunch special- £5 for a sandwich and a pint. I got a "club" which was supposedly chicken and bacon on toasted bread. The chicken wasn't too bad, but the "bacon" was an interesting variety of man-bear-pig...not quite sure what it really was, but I don't appreciate it when rubber poses as bacon. Not cool. If it wasn't for my pint of beer (at 11:30am) I probably wouldn't have continued to eat it. But I did.
Lesson 4: Men in tuxedos in bars are hilarious
We met my roommate Gabby's friend Pam at the bar we were at last night, and she was walking around with a bottle of champagne. Out of nowhere these two men (probably in their 30s), wearing tuxedos come up to us and start talking. Obviously we told them we were in London celebrating Pam's engagement and subsequent bachelorette party...hence the champagne. The older/taller/uglier-version-of-Gerard Butler/pudgier of the tuxedos took a liking to me (obviously) and began talking to me about Scottish poetry...why? I have no idea. He then offered to be my tourguide for London, and gave me his card...I think I'm going to start a collection.
Lesson 5: Middle Eastern men on London dancefloors might as well be rapists
which leads us to lesson 6...
Lesson 6: It's okay to physically assault creepers in bars
Man walks up behind girl. Man grabs girl's ass. Girl turns around and gives man stink eye. Girl turns back around to talk to friends. Man grabs girl's ass again. Girl turns around and says to man, "You grab my ass one more time and you lose a testicle." Man grabs girls face and tries to kiss her. Girl smacks man's hand off her face, then smacks him across the face. Man walks away. The end.
Lesson 7: British cab drivers are much nicer than NYC cab drivers
Not much else to say about that.
That was about it for the first day. I'll try to remember to update tomorrow!
I wish I had your tips before my recent trip to Scotland. Your "sit shotgun with the cab driver and discuss fast food" advice would have saved me from continually throwing myself across the back seat of the cab each time a car came at us from the "wrong" side of the road.
ReplyDeleteYour bacon as man-bear-pig-rubber comment made me reverse-snort coffee. :-D
Hey, Scottish poetry conversations aren't so bad. No lie, a guy from my past once told me about a cyst on his back that was said to contain the hair and teeth of a reabsorbed twin. You can't make this stuff up!
I'm enjoying your blog. Keep it up.