Day 15

Lesson 41: If you have a choice, don't go to London Met, part I

So I take classes at two different universities-- I take 2 Maryland classes with Maryland professors at rented space at Birkbeck College, and then I take 2 classes through London Metropolitan University, aka community college. At first I really didn't think anything of it--why would the University of Maryland have a partnership with a school that wasn't as well-respected as UMD is?? Seriously...why? I was talking with a girl in one of my classes and she actually said to me: "Why did you come here? This uni is a disgrace!" I didn't really know what she was talking about until I was waiting to go into another one of my classes with a different girl and the following conversation ensued:

Girl: So where are you from?

Me: New York

Girl: Like the city?

Me: A little bit outside the city on Long Island

Girl: Ugh you're so lucky! I've never actually made it to New York but I have been to New Jersey, but I know New Jersey is no longer a part of New York

Now I know I'm really in no place to make fun of British people considering a majority of them probably know more about America than Americans do about Britain, but either way I still found it difficult to not laugh in this poor girl's face. I managed to just nod and smile and not embarrass this girl in front of her friends for thinking that New Jersey had seceded from New York.

Lesson 42: If you have a choice, don't go to London Met, part II

The London Met campus where I have my classes is just around the corner from Brick Lane, and I'm 99% sure that if you walked into any of the stores nearby, they would accept Rupees as a form of payment. Nothing against that culture or that community, and I understand that the abroad experience is supposed to immerse you in a different land with a different culture, but I SOO did not sign up to study abroad in Bombay.

Day 13

Lesson 39: Never hesitate going to Church

So for the second weekend in a row my roommates and I went to Church. I was a little hesitant at first to be going two sundays in a row just because I don't want to overdo it and have it lose its appeal, but it seriously just gets better and better. This time I went dressed as a Native American--initially I was going for Pocahontas but since I didn't have a racoon or hummingbird and every person I asked to be Grandma Willow refused, I figured a generic Native American would have to suffice. I guess I should use the term Native American loosely, considering my costume consisted of a simple brown dress with a tan leather belt, braids with a feathered headband, and my fringed "Pocahontas" boots. Needless to say I turned a few heads. It could have been because my dress was so short you could see my small intestines, or it could have been that the Brits/Aussies (Church is an Aussie bar) didn't know what the hell I was supposed to be, considering they don't have Native Americans in the UK. No matter what it was, I enjoyed the attention.

Lesson 40: I am in fact a celebrity

At Church there is this large tv screen showing people in the club. Upstairs in the club there is some clever person working with the camera people to make witty comments about the people being shown on the screen. For example, a friend of mine was zoomed in on and he was given the caption of "lurker." Of course I was zoomed in on. They froze the shot and outed me as being jailbait. I was infuriated!!! The bastards ruined any chances I had of meeting anyone. The cameraman did seem to love me though--I made it onto the screen a few different times. During my post-Church McDonalds meal (which was just around the corner from the club) someone came up to me and told me I was basically a celebrity for being on the jumbotron so much. Well duh I would be on the jumbotron--who wouldn't want to stare at a 5x sized picture of me???

Day 12

Lesson 36: Buckingham Palace isn't that impressive

No offense to the Queen or any of the other royal family members (I know you're reading this Harry...) but if I were as royal as any of you, I'd want a much cooler palace than Buckingham. When we first walked up to it I wasn't even sure if it was anything of importance until I saw a sign about the changing of the guards, at which point I wondered if they did the changing of the guards at places other than the palace. Just sayin...there are some houses in Sands Point that shit on Buckingham Palace.

Lesson 37: Leicester Square looks so much different in the daytime

After having spent the first week and a half going out just about every night because I didn't have any classes or anything else to really do, I thought that I was basically a local and knew Leicester Square like the back of my hand. False. During our touristy day out in the city we somehow managed to meander our way from Trafalgar Square into Leicester Square, but I didn't even realize where we were. Initially I was impressed that they had more than one Haagen Dazs restaurants in London that happened to both be across from a TKTS stand. Given we came from a completely different direction than we had ever entered Leicester Square from, and even though I never actually said any of this out loud, I still felt dumber just for the mere fact that the thought had entered my mind.

Lesson 38: Invest in oven mitts

Day 11

Lesson 35: A dead phone does not mean someone has been "Taken"

One of my roommates, name shall be withheld, left circa 3pm with a boy who she had been recently spending a good amount of time with. All of us had met the guy and his friends and had even become so close that he had the delight of becoming my facebook friend. Basically everything about him told us he was normal. Circa 6pm I bbm'd this friend asking where she was and when she planned on coming back. Seeing as the bbm application was created for creepy stalkers like myself, I was able to tell when my message was delivered and when/if she had read it. She first responded to my initial "yooo" with a "heyyyy," after which I replied with a "where you at fooo'?" I could tell that she read the bbm, but she never responded. I then bbm'd her again but it was never delivered. It was clear her phone was off. I started to feel like a panicking mother. Watching "Taken" before I left was clearly a bad idea, because now I think EVERYONE and their mother is in human trafficking. My roommate and the guy stumbled back into the apartment around 11pm, kebabs in hand, after apparently hitting up 8 different pubs. Lucky for us they came back with some reviews and recommendations for places that we'll be hitting up pretty soon.

Day 10

Lesson 32: When the dishwasher is broken, you must handwash the dishes

Or else be prepared to deal with...

I present to you exhibit A: a moldy spoon that had been sitting in our broken dishwasher for over 2 days.

Lesson 33: Americans are dumb

So Thursday was my first day of classes, and my longest day ever. I kicked it off with my British Politics class, and was already assigned a topic for a 1-sided debate. Despite the fact that I am a gov major, I have never done a debate. Due to my lack of experience with debates, my general assumption was that there are supposed to be two different sides presented, and then you argue. Evidently I'm supposed to do a debate on my own...innnnnteresting. Anywho, my next class was my History of London class. At the very beginning our professor, who was looking quite snazzy in his blue wool sweater with a pocket con pocket protector on his arm, gave a quiz about American/world history. The questions were extremely esoteric but I still felt like an imbecile...no sir, I do not know the capitals of at least 10 sub-Saharan African countries. Sorry dude.

Lesson 34: Fun fact of the day

King George had a disease that made him go crazy and made his pee turn purple. Must have been some funky asparagus.

Day 9

Lesson 30: Always take adventures with the Fabes

When all else fails and I'm dying of boredom, the Fabes is always down to find something to do. First there was the shopping adventure through Oxford Street (where I got a FABULOUS Free People shirt for 10 pounds: see FB profile pic for details). Then there was the adventure to meet some new friends we made the night before at a student pub about 20 min away. Well when we got to this student pub (Imperial Union??) it turned out our new friend was hanging out with his Rugby friends. It was like all of the Ralph Lauren/Vineyard Vines/J Crew ads ever created came to life. And it was fucking awesome.

Lesson 31: Hangers are not locks

Every now and then, roommates will bring people back to the apartment for some G-rated fun after going out at night. Most 20-somethings usually bring home boys for a little PG13+ fun after the pubs, but no no, not us. Our post-games include endless episodes of Family Guy and South Park...duhhh. So far these people have mainly been the boys that live above us (who also go to Maryland) and occasionally some new friends. Needless to say by the time we all get back to the flat, most people are pretty drunk. So when it came time for me and Gabby to call it a night, we went back to our room and closed our doors (we have those double french style doors). To avoid being bothered by drunkards walking into our room in the middle of the night, we decided to put a plastic hanger over the two doorknobs in an attempt to lock the doors. 15 minutes later when Gabby and I were well into our respective episodes of Glee on our computers, one of our roommates comes barging in. The hanger goes FLYING across the room, and Gabby and I just look at each other. Fail.

Day 8

Lesson 28: They DO have good food here, part II
One of my roommates' dad was on business in London and took us out to this restaurant called Wild Honey. After hours of deliberation (okay 5 minutes) I decided to go for the baby cow. Despite the vast effort of my roommates to spare the life of the delicious, juicy baby cow, I simply reasoned that it was already dead, and I shouldn't let it go bad, lest it have been butchered in vain. After this strong argument, I actually managed to convince two other roommates to order the veal as well. So what if we killed an entire litter of baby cows? It was worth it. For dessert we had something that I had figured I would have had to wait until I went to France to get...a cheese platter. I. Love. Cheese.

Lesson 29: The time difference makes acceptances that much better

During this dinner, around 10pm at night, I received an email on my phone saying that I had been selected for a really competitive summer internship. Seeing as our table was 4 bottles of wine deep, I was that much more excited about it. If it had come any earlier I would have been happy, but not remotely as ecstatic as I was. I guess it could have been the mixture of baby cow, cheese, and the exorbitant amount of wine making its way through my small intestine, but after 10 minutes of beaming, it started to hit me that this summer I would be venturing into the ghettos of DC, and I started to get a bit nauseous.